~I started writing Growl a little over a year ago. It was a tribute to an amazing man who often gives without taking. He is a close friend who has held my hand (and often one of my tits) through each of my divorces. And he was one of the first men I was able to kiss after I was raped. I have finished Growl, and as amazing as this little bit of smut is, it in no way adequately describes him. this bit of smut can not describe his smile, or the way he can make me laugh with just a look. Someday someone will make him fall in love, and i hope she (whoever she is) is smart enough to know that she found something more perfect than the hope diamond, and worth more than all the gold and oil on earth. I love him.~~
My Shining one
Your eyes flash, cat like, as the light from the tv bounces off them.
You tower over the bed, stealing the breath from me with just a look.
I can only blink mindless and shivering as your shirt comes off, breaking your gaze for a moment before those eyes are burning back into mine, making me powerless to look away.
Golden and tawny, your easy smile turning into a feral grin as you look at me, making me cower on the bed, I'm left helpless all my power as a Domme gone before the force that is you, bending me to your will.
You pounce, springing onto the bed, pinning me under you. I scream, muffled in your shirt. My hips pinned under yours, your naked between gasps of air. Your skin is so hot it almost burns, and my poor purple panties are no match for this fire. you rip them aside, tearing the silk from my hips with one savage lunge of your hand. Now I'm burning, my skin flushed and trembling.
Your body holds mine as your kiss your way down my skin until you find the source of this fire, then its not kisses anymore. You lap at me like a lion with its prey, all teeth and claws and snarls, until my panting matches my heart beat.
A lion, yes, my king of the jungle. Yet I cant seem to tell am I your lioness or only prey. The feel of your teeth snap me back to the here and now digging into my neck, a sharp point of pain to offset the firm softness as you glide in, deep so deep, pain and more all mixed into one. I whisper your name and you snarl into my neck, telling me to ask for it, telling me to beg. I ask, I plead, I cry, and oh goddess do I beg. A waterfall of needness, pouring out of me until you kiss me, whispering "good girl" in my ear. I moan your name. Then your hands on my hips, fingers digging in, and thoughts are gone, lost in the tide of moans, the rush of snarls. Your name dancing over my lips again and again like a mantra, like honey on my tongue offered to a goddess. You growl at me, your rhythm speeding up. You strike, teeth sinking in around my nipple. Your eyes never leaving mine, flashing in the light. You roar as our fires combine and I see stars. I see you.
My Lion, My King, My beast
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Novel
Chapter one
Glitter, why am I covered in glitter? It’s even in my eyelashes I think. By the scratchy feeling on my back it’s all over my bed. And with that thought I realize, dam it, I woke up again, that means I have to go through another day. The cracked plaster on my ceiling seems to be taunting me, smiling at my misery. Rolling out of bed just seems to be too much work anymore. I shake my head and try to tell myself it’s worth it nothing can be all that bad. I shuffle out of my bed trying not to trip as I step over the ruin of my life. Men’s clothing in a pile by the closet, a bra way too small to be mine hanging on my mirror. I was right my bed is COVERED in glitter like an inch deep, strange. My clock says its nine thirty in the morning. Crap my roommates are awake, I try to get up before they do so I don’t have to talk to them or even see them. Why did I wake up so late? I slip into the bathroom to get shit started and the strange me in the mirror startles me. It looks like someone drenched me in glitter, there is so much on my face I can’t even see my eyelashes. I jump in the shower to find that my roommates have used up all the hot water, again. This is another reason I try to wake up before they get moving. I do the minimal amount of washing to make sure I don’t smell like the night before thought I’m still not sure what the night before was. Though going by sent I rolled in glitter and cotton candy body spray, maybe I was mobbed by strippers. As I dry off in my room I try to pick an outfit out of the clothing I have left. Somehow most of it seems to ‘get lost’ in the washer. Though I’m sure both of the female roommates of mine are loving my shit. A black built in bra sports top, a pair of dark fade jeans, black and white running shoes, and an I-pod end up as my choices. The dark colors make me look slimmer and the top places my thirty eight D breasts up on prominent display. Walking back to the bathroom means I “get” to see one of my roommates.
“Hey Jazmine, I used the last of your butter and your milk this morning, I hope you don’t mind”
The smirk on her face says she really could care less if I mind or not. Bitch. Becky is about my height and body build though her ass is bigger and my breasts are bigger. Her hair is a nice rich brown and her eyes are the same. She would be really pretty if she didn't think she was already sooo pretty. I make a vague movement with my head something I hope will look like “ya whatever” and keep going. Looking in the mirror I add the little bit of makeup I wear, black eyeliner, black mascara, and a plumping lip gloss. I run some hair goo through my dark red hair and pull it up with a hair tie leaving a tail as thick as my wrist that still tickles my shoulders. I walk out of the bathroom into my house trying to get to the kitchen without having to see any more of my roommates. I get there just in time to see another of my roommates, male this time, finish my OJ; it’s not worth the fight. I grab an energy bar and a Full Throttle from the stash in my room. I’d drink coffee if my pot wasn't always full of my roommate’s old tea or mold. In fact most of this house is like that, I’d cook if the pans weren't always dirty, and I'd have friends over if we ever had clean plates.
I grab my sunglasses sweet little black on black wrap around ones, lock my room and leave. As I step into the glaring sun of my so called “lovely” city I slide on my glasses and start to walk west towards downtown and hopefully shade. Four blocks an about three songs later and I'm in the shadow of the first casino, the giant clown stares, smiling maniacally, down on us poor humans. I take a deep breath glad to be out of the sun. Turning south I head down the “strip” as if we were some big town. I try not to make eye contact with the many bums that litter the streets; if you don't make eye contact they won't try to beg anything from you. I swing into a small door between a liquor shop and a pawn store (or is that a liquor store and a pawn shop). It leads to stairs that go up to some of the shittiest apartments I've ever seen, but this is where the man lives. I knock on his door.
“Who the hell is it?” comes out through the door, with how gruff his voice is I know he’s been up all night.
“Terence, its Jazmine, let me in” the door creaks open to show one bloodshot eye in an otherwise handsome face.
Seeing that it really is me the door opens the rest of the way and a hand motions me in. The apartment I enter is clean-ish if really run down, the only mess is the mass of gum wrappers and half empty water bottles all over the floor. And glitter all over the table.
“Dam ‘love’ I hope you didn’t party away your stock” I say with a grin. He glares at me and turns around to survey the mess in his living room. He has this voice like he’s trying to sound English, like England style. He always sounds almost ridiculous.
This is only the first bit, I'll add more if you all like it...
Glitter, why am I covered in glitter? It’s even in my eyelashes I think. By the scratchy feeling on my back it’s all over my bed. And with that thought I realize, dam it, I woke up again, that means I have to go through another day. The cracked plaster on my ceiling seems to be taunting me, smiling at my misery. Rolling out of bed just seems to be too much work anymore. I shake my head and try to tell myself it’s worth it nothing can be all that bad. I shuffle out of my bed trying not to trip as I step over the ruin of my life. Men’s clothing in a pile by the closet, a bra way too small to be mine hanging on my mirror. I was right my bed is COVERED in glitter like an inch deep, strange. My clock says its nine thirty in the morning. Crap my roommates are awake, I try to get up before they do so I don’t have to talk to them or even see them. Why did I wake up so late? I slip into the bathroom to get shit started and the strange me in the mirror startles me. It looks like someone drenched me in glitter, there is so much on my face I can’t even see my eyelashes. I jump in the shower to find that my roommates have used up all the hot water, again. This is another reason I try to wake up before they get moving. I do the minimal amount of washing to make sure I don’t smell like the night before thought I’m still not sure what the night before was. Though going by sent I rolled in glitter and cotton candy body spray, maybe I was mobbed by strippers. As I dry off in my room I try to pick an outfit out of the clothing I have left. Somehow most of it seems to ‘get lost’ in the washer. Though I’m sure both of the female roommates of mine are loving my shit. A black built in bra sports top, a pair of dark fade jeans, black and white running shoes, and an I-pod end up as my choices. The dark colors make me look slimmer and the top places my thirty eight D breasts up on prominent display. Walking back to the bathroom means I “get” to see one of my roommates.
“Hey Jazmine, I used the last of your butter and your milk this morning, I hope you don’t mind”
The smirk on her face says she really could care less if I mind or not. Bitch. Becky is about my height and body build though her ass is bigger and my breasts are bigger. Her hair is a nice rich brown and her eyes are the same. She would be really pretty if she didn't think she was already sooo pretty. I make a vague movement with my head something I hope will look like “ya whatever” and keep going. Looking in the mirror I add the little bit of makeup I wear, black eyeliner, black mascara, and a plumping lip gloss. I run some hair goo through my dark red hair and pull it up with a hair tie leaving a tail as thick as my wrist that still tickles my shoulders. I walk out of the bathroom into my house trying to get to the kitchen without having to see any more of my roommates. I get there just in time to see another of my roommates, male this time, finish my OJ; it’s not worth the fight. I grab an energy bar and a Full Throttle from the stash in my room. I’d drink coffee if my pot wasn't always full of my roommate’s old tea or mold. In fact most of this house is like that, I’d cook if the pans weren't always dirty, and I'd have friends over if we ever had clean plates.
I grab my sunglasses sweet little black on black wrap around ones, lock my room and leave. As I step into the glaring sun of my so called “lovely” city I slide on my glasses and start to walk west towards downtown and hopefully shade. Four blocks an about three songs later and I'm in the shadow of the first casino, the giant clown stares, smiling maniacally, down on us poor humans. I take a deep breath glad to be out of the sun. Turning south I head down the “strip” as if we were some big town. I try not to make eye contact with the many bums that litter the streets; if you don't make eye contact they won't try to beg anything from you. I swing into a small door between a liquor shop and a pawn store (or is that a liquor store and a pawn shop). It leads to stairs that go up to some of the shittiest apartments I've ever seen, but this is where the man lives. I knock on his door.
“Who the hell is it?” comes out through the door, with how gruff his voice is I know he’s been up all night.
“Terence, its Jazmine, let me in” the door creaks open to show one bloodshot eye in an otherwise handsome face.
Seeing that it really is me the door opens the rest of the way and a hand motions me in. The apartment I enter is clean-ish if really run down, the only mess is the mass of gum wrappers and half empty water bottles all over the floor. And glitter all over the table.
“Dam ‘love’ I hope you didn’t party away your stock” I say with a grin. He glares at me and turns around to survey the mess in his living room. He has this voice like he’s trying to sound English, like England style. He always sounds almost ridiculous.
This is only the first bit, I'll add more if you all like it...
Friday, May 2, 2014
memory2
this one is harder to write, it still makes me cry, and it is not as filled out with little descriptors as most of my stuff is so please forgive me.~~
My best friend is dead.
I found out this morning. I booted the old DSL up, looking out the window at the summer sun. I log onto myspace to see a message from a girl i only barely feel is a friend. she tells me that my best friend, and the first woman i have ever been in love with is dead.
Just like that my day shatters.
I spend two weeks curled into a ball in my bed wishing i was dead with her.
No one grants my wish.
not yet
music playing loud in my ears in the back of the car. eyes rolled up in teenage disgust at being in the car with my dad and some chick he wants to fuck. I am an empty shell, rattling around inside myself. every forth thought is wishing i was dead.
the sun is just starting to go down as we pull into this stupid little backwater town.
A carnival, the last one i went to was with her. I dont want to be here. I'm walking with Dianna 60in cash in my pocket.
I hate it, I miss her, I wish i was dead
shes drunk
dear goddess she is drunk
I see him
tall
black hair
blue eyes
he is beautiful
he is poison
our eyes meet, and i see it. the over whelming urge to hurt something
I want to be hurt
his forehead says Danger, predator in big red letters
mine says death wish
we talk
we flirt
I wish i was dead
he sees it in my eyes, and he smiles
but the smile is not a let me help you feel better smile, it is a let me help you die smile
I give him my number
he's going to hurt me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
we have a tall bed, a "captains bed" the ones with the dressers under it.
I'm sitting on the edge of it naked waiting for him.
he comes in, kisses me, kisses my lips my face my neck my breasts. he lays me down.
hes not hard, not really, but he pushes the tip into me
I know whats coming and put my hands behind my head close my eyes and wait.
~slap~ the back of his hand slaps into my chest
~slap~ and the other side
over and over he hits the outside of my tits, and with every slap his cock twitches, getting harder and harder. by the time hes hard my tits are a solid mass of black and purple but i'm so wet i can feel it dripping down my legs. he grabs my tits and uses them as grips. pulling me onto him. fucking me. his hands reach up and his fingers wrap around my neck. I cant breath, i start to see spots, i tap his shoulder, not for air, I dont have a safe word, but i tap asking without a voice if i can cum
he says yes
i cum, my mind shattering, everything going dark
I come too and hes still fucking me, he didnt care i passed out, he close, and i can feel that it will be his second so i know how long i've been out, almost 20 min, he slaps me, hard, it splits my lip, i lick the blood up and whisper thank you my love
he cums, and he bites me. sinking his teeth into the top of my tit until they almost touch, blood on his lips when he looks up. he kisses me pushing my blood into my mouth.
we sleep, i'm curled up around his back, dependent on him, because without his pain, i want to die again, as soon as he leaves i can think, and when i think i remember, I remember her, and i wish i was dead
My best friend is dead.
I found out this morning. I booted the old DSL up, looking out the window at the summer sun. I log onto myspace to see a message from a girl i only barely feel is a friend. she tells me that my best friend, and the first woman i have ever been in love with is dead.
Just like that my day shatters.
I spend two weeks curled into a ball in my bed wishing i was dead with her.
No one grants my wish.
not yet
music playing loud in my ears in the back of the car. eyes rolled up in teenage disgust at being in the car with my dad and some chick he wants to fuck. I am an empty shell, rattling around inside myself. every forth thought is wishing i was dead.
the sun is just starting to go down as we pull into this stupid little backwater town.
A carnival, the last one i went to was with her. I dont want to be here. I'm walking with Dianna 60in cash in my pocket.
I hate it, I miss her, I wish i was dead
shes drunk
dear goddess she is drunk
I see him
tall
black hair
blue eyes
he is beautiful
he is poison
our eyes meet, and i see it. the over whelming urge to hurt something
I want to be hurt
his forehead says Danger, predator in big red letters
mine says death wish
we talk
we flirt
I wish i was dead
he sees it in my eyes, and he smiles
but the smile is not a let me help you feel better smile, it is a let me help you die smile
I give him my number
he's going to hurt me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
we have a tall bed, a "captains bed" the ones with the dressers under it.
I'm sitting on the edge of it naked waiting for him.
he comes in, kisses me, kisses my lips my face my neck my breasts. he lays me down.
hes not hard, not really, but he pushes the tip into me
I know whats coming and put my hands behind my head close my eyes and wait.
~slap~ the back of his hand slaps into my chest
~slap~ and the other side
over and over he hits the outside of my tits, and with every slap his cock twitches, getting harder and harder. by the time hes hard my tits are a solid mass of black and purple but i'm so wet i can feel it dripping down my legs. he grabs my tits and uses them as grips. pulling me onto him. fucking me. his hands reach up and his fingers wrap around my neck. I cant breath, i start to see spots, i tap his shoulder, not for air, I dont have a safe word, but i tap asking without a voice if i can cum
he says yes
i cum, my mind shattering, everything going dark
I come too and hes still fucking me, he didnt care i passed out, he close, and i can feel that it will be his second so i know how long i've been out, almost 20 min, he slaps me, hard, it splits my lip, i lick the blood up and whisper thank you my love
he cums, and he bites me. sinking his teeth into the top of my tit until they almost touch, blood on his lips when he looks up. he kisses me pushing my blood into my mouth.
we sleep, i'm curled up around his back, dependent on him, because without his pain, i want to die again, as soon as he leaves i can think, and when i think i remember, I remember her, and i wish i was dead
Thursday, May 1, 2014
A memory 1
I'm curled on the bed reading a book. music playing in the back ground.
i hear a creak a look up to the door, you're standing there shirtless, red hair wet and water drops clinging to your collarbone.
i raise my eyebrow looking at you leaning in the door frame. your smile makes me lick my lips, seeing my eyes widen you smile.
You lunge, throwing yourself into the air. you come down on the bed, your hands next to my shoulders and your feet next to my hips. I scream, a small girlish noise.
i wrap my arms around you and kiss you.
then we fight, wrestling back and forth along the bed. i can almost pin you, almost hold you down, but you are just a little bit faster, just a little bit stronger.
you pull my shirt off. I scratch you leaving three long red angry lines on your chest. you snarl and Rip my bra off, tearing the center strap. I bite you, my teeth leaving a clean sharp ring around your nipple. you yelp and rip my panties off in one yank, it hurts, bruises showing almost instantly. I kick at you, my toe snagged in the edge of your pj pants pulling them down. now we are naked, still wrestling around, I can feel how hard you are. I roll pulling onto my knees to get away from you. You grab the back of my neck making me meek. you shove into me. fucking me with your hand on my neck, long hard strokes. all the way to the back of me and out again. fucking me until i scream your name, shaking around you. your hand from my neck to twist into my hair. you jerk me up and set your teeth into my shoulder biting me as you cum. wrapped in your arms we fall.
curled onto the bed. resting, holding you.
you slide out of me, and i turn in your arms, nibbling on you. kissing your chest.
goodnight my red haired Adam.
my last dream of you
i hear a creak a look up to the door, you're standing there shirtless, red hair wet and water drops clinging to your collarbone.
i raise my eyebrow looking at you leaning in the door frame. your smile makes me lick my lips, seeing my eyes widen you smile.
You lunge, throwing yourself into the air. you come down on the bed, your hands next to my shoulders and your feet next to my hips. I scream, a small girlish noise.
i wrap my arms around you and kiss you.
then we fight, wrestling back and forth along the bed. i can almost pin you, almost hold you down, but you are just a little bit faster, just a little bit stronger.
you pull my shirt off. I scratch you leaving three long red angry lines on your chest. you snarl and Rip my bra off, tearing the center strap. I bite you, my teeth leaving a clean sharp ring around your nipple. you yelp and rip my panties off in one yank, it hurts, bruises showing almost instantly. I kick at you, my toe snagged in the edge of your pj pants pulling them down. now we are naked, still wrestling around, I can feel how hard you are. I roll pulling onto my knees to get away from you. You grab the back of my neck making me meek. you shove into me. fucking me with your hand on my neck, long hard strokes. all the way to the back of me and out again. fucking me until i scream your name, shaking around you. your hand from my neck to twist into my hair. you jerk me up and set your teeth into my shoulder biting me as you cum. wrapped in your arms we fall.
curled onto the bed. resting, holding you.
you slide out of me, and i turn in your arms, nibbling on you. kissing your chest.
goodnight my red haired Adam.
my last dream of you
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