Not Mine, but meaningful

I was in the winter of my life- and the men I met along the road were my
only summer. At night I fell sleep with visions of myself dancing and
laughing and crying with them. Three years down the line of being on an
endless world tour and my memories of them were the only things that
sustained me, and my only real happy times. I was a singer, not very
popular one, I once has dreams of becoming a beautiful poet- but upon an
unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a
million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again-
sparkling and broken. But I didn't really mind it because I knew that it
takes getting everything you ever wanted and then losing it to know what
true freedom is.

When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I had
been living- they asked me why. But there’s no use in talking to people who
have a home, they have no idea what its like to seek safety in other
people, for home to be wherever you lie your head.

I was always an unusual girl, my mother told me that I had a chameleon
soul. No moral compass pointing me due north, no fixed personality. Just an
inner indecisiveness that was as wide and unwavering as the ocean. And if I
said that I didn't plan for it to turn out this way I’d be lying- because I
was born to be the other woman. I belonged to no one- who belonged to
everyone, who had nothing- who wanted everything with a fire for every
experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that
I couldn't even talk about- and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness
that both dazzled and dizzied me.

Every night I used to pray that I’d find my people- and finally I did- on
the open road. We have nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired
anymore- except to make our lives into a work of art.

Live fast. Die young. Be wild. Have fun.

I believe in the country America used to be. I believe in the person I want
to become, I believe in the freedom of the open road. And my motto is the
same as ever:

“I believe in the kindness of strangers. And when I’m at war with myself, I
Ride. I Just Ride.”

Who are you? Are you in touch with all your darkest fantasies?
Have you created a life for yourself where you’re free to experience them?
I Have.
I Am Fucking Crazy. But I Am Free.

"Lana Del Rey--Ride"

Random story

just a little story
years ago a girl stood in the rain her arms wrapped around a man that she was madly in love with and just a little scared of. he kissed her, tipping her face up into the rain, his lips tender and sweet. they looked into each others eyes and smiled before running for shelter from the storm. they found a yet unfinished house. they explored the house, talking about what it would be like when it was done. they climbed the stairs hand in hand, his fingers warm around hers. they walked into what would be the master bedroom and in the middle of the room was a bed high stack of sheet wood covered with an old moving blanket. he looked at her and smiled. "come lay with me, lets get warm" she curled into his arms with a smile and a laugh, kissing him as they sank onto the platform. lightning flashed and she tried not to scream, her fear of lightning even overpowering her love of him for a moment. he kissed her holding her tight begging her to let him distract her from her fear. right then to the sound of the rain with the taste of his kiss still on her lips she prayed

"Dear Powers, Please let me keep this man in my life, let me always be able to bask in his smile, let me love him forever. I'll do anything, i just can not picture my life without him in it"

he leaned in and kissed her, she whispered "i love you" into his lips right as the thunder crashed. he never heard her. so she told him she loved him with every gasp, every fevered kiss, every inch of her skin on his. As her nails painted her love down his back a little voice whispered in her head

"you shalt have just what you asked for, exactly what you asked for"

three days later, just as the mark of her lips started to fade off his neck, he met the woman who ended up being his wife. He still came to the girl but something had changed, he stopped holding her hand, and the kisses that had been so tender to chase away her fear were now only an opening to something purely sexual. his arms that had once offered a safe haven from the world were now cold. yet her love grew, and no mater why, how, or what they fought about he never really left. after every fight she would cry and swear she would never let him come back, but a few weeks, a few months, and once even a few years and he would be back. his sideways smile melting her heart over and over again.
They grew, he married that woman and the girl tried her best to be a friend to the wife and to him. The girl fell in love got married and tried to move on, yet her heart was always looking for him. he had a child, a sweet little girl who smiled like her dad. the girl had a child just one year later, a little boy that made her smile, and forget him for a while. the girl got married and tried to live her life, tried to love the man she was with yet her heart yearned for another. his marriage ended and he turned to the girl who had always loved him and he rested in her arms for just a moment then he was gone again. she went on with life, and when her marriage ended she looked for him, to rest in his arms but he was gone. and she waited because he was never gone for to long. the girls friend shook there heads thinking she was crazy to have waited like this for a man that never seemed to love her in return. she just smiled, and when he walked into her house with the sideways smile she lit up like she always had, because she loved him, as she always had, and always would. even if he didnt stay she would still love him

the moral of the story, be careful what you ask for..

Looking

I am looking for love, I've realized that. and in the last year I have been blessed with some really cool, very nice, very loving guys.
Today i am filled with doubts, in the last few years I have lost a few good men
*My husband, who put up with my crap, and loved me in his own way for 4 years
*Kev, who was willing to drop everything to be with me and help me
*BF, who stepped up to help me re explore my submissive and brat sides all the time giving me everything he had to give
*H, who started to show me that I can be wanted for whats in my head, not whats in my pants
*Bosten, who reminded me who and what I was in High School, and what that was like.
*And others, :(

intentionally or unintentionally I pushed all of these men away. now I cant say that it might not have been a good thing, as I have to believe that things happen for a reason. I have to believe that the goddess moves one person out of my life with the intent to helping me find something better.

Still that knowledge doesn't really keep the bed warm or help pet away the nightmares when they come.
I'm looking for love, real makes your heart flutter and your toes curl love.
I want something like my grandparents have, something deep.
a little selfishly I want to be the center of someones world. I want to be the reason they wake up with a smile.
I want a family, and a home, I dont think thats to much to ask

Poem 3

Pressed against the glass,
Starving just a few feet from your love

your unfeeling heart imprisons me

This is my curse,
To hold so tight to something so empty

careless eyes to blind to see

My heartbeat echos in this little room,
Sound of the drum lost in my ears

Empty words an iron cage

Fear running out,
to gone to save cant get through to you

Broken heart bleeding rage

Falling hard
still no net to save me

Trapped by love burned by your fire

I toss and turn but still no sleep,
Trapped in my unending nightmare

Trap of love snared by desire

ENFJ

So I was told that this is/can be me in a nutshell.... I dont fucking know

ENFJ
Extravert(78%) iNtuitive(38%) iNtuitive Feeling(25%) Judging(11%)
•You have strong preference of Extraversion over Introversion (78%)
•You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (38%)
•You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (25%)
•You have slight preference of Judging over Perceiving (11%)

ENFJs are the benevolent 'pedagogues' of humanity. They have tremendous charisma by which many are drawn into their nurturant tutelage and/or grand schemes. Many ENFJs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. But it's usually not meant as manipulation -- ENFJs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.

ENFJs are global learners. They see the big picture. The ENFJs focus is expansive. Some can juggle an amazing number of responsibilities or projects simultaneously. Many ENFJs have tremendous entrepreneurial ability.

ENFJs are, by definition, Js, with whom we associate organization and decisiveness. But they don't resemble the SJs or even the NTJs in organization of the environment nor occasional recalcitrance. ENFJs are organized in the arena of interpersonal affairs. Their offices may or may not be cluttered, but their conclusions (reached through feelings) about people and motives are drawn much more quickly and are more resilient than those of their NFP counterparts.

ENFJs know and appreciate people. Like most NFs, (and Feelers in general), they are apt to neglect themselves and their own needs for the needs of others. They have thinner psychological boundaries than most, and are at risk for being hurt or even abused by less sensitive people. ENFJs often take on more of the burdens of others than they can bear.

TRADEMARK: "The first shall be last"
This refers to the open-door policy of ENFJs. One ENFJ colleague always welcomes me into his office regardless of his own circumstances. If another person comes to the door, he allows them to interrupt our conversation with their need. While discussing that need, the phone rings and he stops to answer it. Others drop in with a 'quick question.' I finally get up, go to my office and use the call waiting feature on the telephone. When he hangs up, I have his undivided attention!
Functional Analysis:

Extraverted Feeling
Extraverted Feeling rules the ENFJ's psyche. In the sway of this rational function, these folks are predisposed to closure in matters pertaining to people, and especially on behalf of their beloved. As extraverts, their contacts are wide ranging. Face-to-face relationships are intense, personable and warm, though they may be so infrequently achieved that intimate friendships are rare.
Introverted iNtuition
Like their INFJ cousins, ENFJs are blessed through introverted intuition with clarity of perception in the inner, unconscious world. Dominant Feeling prefers to find the silver lining in even the most beggarly perceptions of those in their expanding circle of friends and, of course, in themselves. In less balanced individuals, such mitigation of the unseemly eventually undermines the ENFJ's integrity and frequently their good name. In healthier individuals, deft use of this awareness of the inner needs and desires of others enables this astute type to win friends, influence people, and avoid compromising entanglements.
The dynamic nature of their intuition moves ENFJs from one project to another with the assurance that the next one will be perfect, or much more nearly so than the last. ENFJs are continually looking for newer and better solutions to benefit their extensive family, staff, or organization.

Extraverted Sensing
Sensing is extraverted. ENFJs can manage details, particularly those necessary to implement the prevailing vision. These data have, however, a magical flexible quality. Something to be bought can be had for a song; the same something is invaluable when it's time to sell. (We are not certain, but we suspect that such is the influence of the primary function.) This wavering of sensory perception is made possible by the weaker and less mature status with which the tertiary is endowed.
Introverted Thinking
Introverted Thinking is least apparent and most enigmatic in this type. In fact, it often appears only when summoned by Feeling. At times only in jest, but in earnest if need be, Thinking entertains as logical only those conclusions which support Feeling's values. Other scenarios can be shown invalid or at best significantly inferior. Such "Thinking in the service of Feeling" has the appearance of logic, but somehow it never quite adds up.
Introverted Thinking is frequently the focus of the spiritual quest of ENFJs. David's lengthiest psalm, 119, pays it homage. "Law," "precept," "commandment," "statute:" these essences of inner thinking are the mysteries of Deity for which this great Feeler's soul searched.
~~
The Giver

As an ENFJ, you're primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this.

Because ENFJ's people skills are so extraordinary, they have the ability to make people do exactly what they want them to do. They get under people's skins and get the reactions that they are seeking. ENFJ's motives are usually unselfish, but ENFJs who have developed less than ideally have been known to use their power over people to manipulate them.

ENFJ's are so externally focused that it's especially important for them to spend time alone. This can be difficult for some ENFJs, because they have the tendency to be hard on themselves and turn to dark thoughts when alone. Consequently, ENFJs might avoid being alone, and fill their lives with activities involving other people. ENFJs tend to define their life's direction and priorities according to other people's needs, and may not be aware of their own needs. It's natural to their personality type that they will tend to place other people's needs above their own, but they need to stay aware of their own needs so that they don't sacrifice themselves in their drive to help others.

ENFJ's tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they're likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. Because their strongest interest lies in being a catalyst of change in other people, they're likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon-like manner, rather than as individuals.

Which is not to say that the ENFJ does not have opinions. ENFJs have definite values and opinions which they're able to express clearly and succinctly. These beliefs will be expressed as long as they're not too personal. ENFJ is in many ways expressive and open, but is more focused on being responsive and supportive of others. When faced with a conflict between a strongly-held value and serving another person's need, they are highly likely to value the other person's needs.

The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves.

People love ENFJs. They are fun to be with, and truly understand and love people. They are typically very straight-forward and honest. Usually ENFJs exude a lot of self-confidence, and have a great amount of ability to do many different things. They are generally bright, full of potential, energetic and fast-paced. They are usually good at anything which captures their interest.

ENFJs like for things to be well-organized, and will work hard at maintaining structure and resolving ambiguity. They have a tendency to be fussy, especially with their home environments.

In the work place, ENFJs do well in positions where they deal with people. They are naturals for the social committee. Their uncanny ability to understand people and say just what needs to be said to make them happy makes them naturals for counseling. They enjoy being the center of attention, and do very well in situations where they can inspire and lead others, such as teaching.

ENFJs do not like dealing with impersonal reasoning. They don't understand or appreciate its merit, and will be unhappy in situations where they're forced to deal with logic and facts without any connection to a human element. Living in the world of people possibilities, they enjoy their plans more than their achievements. They get excited about possibilities for the future, but may become easily bored and restless with the present.

ENFJs have a special gift with people, and are basically happy people when they can use that gift to help others. They get their best satisfaction from serving others. Their genuine interest in Humankind and their exceptional intuitive awareness of people makes them able to draw out even the most reserved individuals.

ENFJs have a strong need for close, intimate relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort in creating and maintaining these relationships. They're very loyal and trustworthy once involved in a relationship.

An ENFJ who has not developed their Feeling side may have difficulty making good decisions, and may rely heavily on other people in decision-making processes. If they have not developed their Intuition, they may not be able to see possibilities, and will judge things too quickly based on established value systems or social rules, without really understanding the current situation. An ENFJ who has not found their place in the world is likely to be extremely sensitive to criticism, and to have the tendency to worry excessively and feel guilty. They are also likely to be very manipulative and controling with others.

In general, ENFJs are charming, warm, gracious, creative and diverse individuals with richly developed insights into what makes other people tick. This special ability to see growth potential in others combined with a genuine drive to help people makes the ENFJ a truly valued individual. As giving and caring as the ENFJ is, they need to remember to value their own needs as well as the needs of others.

Jungian functional preference ordering:

Dominant: Extraverted Feeling
Auxiliary: Introverted Intuition
Tertiary: Extraverted Sensing
Inferior: Introverted Thinking

~~~
ENFJ Relationships

ENFJs put a lot of effort and enthusiasm into their relationships. To some extent, the ENFJ defines themself by the closeness and authenticity of their personal relationships, and are therefore highly invested in the business of relationships. They have very good people skills, and are affectionate and considerate. They are warmly affirming and nurturing. The excel at bringing out the best in others, and warmly supporting them. They want responding affirmation from their relationships, although they have a problem asking for it. When a situation calls for it, the ENFJ will become very sharp and critical. After having made their point, they will return to their natural, warm selves. They may have a tendency to "smother" their loved ones, but are generally highly valued for their genuine warmth and caring natures.

ENFJ Strengths

Most ENFJs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationship issues:

Good verbal communication skills
Very perceptive about people's thoughts and motives
Motivational, inspirational; bring out the best in others
Warmly affectionate and affirming
Fun to be with - lively sense of humor, dramatic, energetic, optimistic
Good money skills
Able to "move on" after a love relationship has failed (although they blame themselves)
Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships
Strive for "win-win" situations
Driven to meet other's needs

ENFJ Weaknesses

Most ENFJs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationships issues:

Tendency to be smothering and over-protective
Tendency to be controling and/or manipulative
Don't pay enough attention to their own needs
Tend to be critical of opinions and attitudes which don't match their own
Sometimes unaware of social appropriateness or protocol
Extremely sensitive to conflict, with a tendency to sweep things under the rug as an avoidance tactic
Tendency to blame themselves when things go wrong, and not give themselves credit when things go right
Their sharply defined value systems make them unbending in some areas
They may be so attuned to what is socially accepted or expected that they're unable to assess whether something is "right" or "wrong" outside of what their social circle expects.

ENFJs as Lovers

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May

ENFJs make warm, committed lovers who are willing to go to great lengths for the sake of "The Relationship". They're totally dedicated to the relationship, and to their partner, and have a special skill for warmth and affirmation which brings out the best in their mates. They take their commitments seriously, and are likely to put forth a lot of effort into making a relationship work once they have commited themselves to it. In the event that a relationship fails, the ENFJ will feel a lot of guilt, and take on blame for the failure, but they will move on with their lives with relative ease, without looking backwards.

Since relationships are central to the ENFJ's life, they will be very "hands on" and involved with their intimate relationships. They may be in the habit of constantly asking their partner how they're doing, what they're feeling, etc. This behavior may be a bit smothering, but it also supports a strong awareness of the health (or illness) of the relationship.

Sexually, the ENFJ looks forward to intimacy as an opportunity to express love and caring. The ENFJ is generally very interested in the happiness and satisfaction of their partner. Because they achieve much of their personal satisfaction from making others happy, they're likely to be skilled lovers. Like other Judgers, the ENFJ is likely to follow a schedule for intimacy, and may be prone to becoming routinized. For the ENFJ, the most important aspect of a sexual encounter is the affirmation of love and affection.

Although the ENFJ will probably not ask for it, they need to be given sweet words and loving affirmation. Since they are so externally focused on serving people, they do not always pay attention to their own needs. Since much of their personal satisfaction comes from bringing happiness to others, they're able to ignore their own needs and still be happy much more easily than other types. However, if they focus entirely on giving without doing some taking, they may find themselves in an unhealthy, unbalanced relationship. They need to work on being aware of their needs, and being OK with verbalizing those needs to their partners.

A problem area for ENFJs in relationships is their very serious dislike of conflict. ENFJs will prefer to brush issues under the rug rather than confront them head-on, if there is likely to be a conflict. They are also likely to "give in" easily in conflict situations, just to end the conflict. They might agree to something which goes against their values just to end the uncomfortable situation. In such cases, the problem is extended and will return at a later time. The ENFJ needs to realize that the world will not end if there is a disagreement, and that dealing with things immediately initiates closure. Ignoring issues will not make them go away.

In general, the ENFJ is intensely and enthusiastically involved in their personal relationships. They bring fun and warmth into the equation, and are willing to work hard to make things work.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENFJ's natural partner is the INFP, or the ISFP. ENFJ's dominant function of Extraverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Introverted Feeling. An ENFJ and INFP are ideally matched, because they share the Intuitive way of looking at the world, but the ENFJ and ISFP are also a very good match. How did we arrive at this?

Erotic Short 1

Sitting at my desk nerves this is my first big job and I may already be in trouble . I told them this was my first job and that I had never even had a typing class so what do they do they make me the under secretary for the CEO. My typing sucks, no really it sucks. I’m staring at my computer my hands smoothing my skirt. I take a minute to look at myself in the floor to ceiling mirror he keeps in the outer office. Well at least I look the part, though getting my work close almost put me into debt. My black silk skirt suit shining in the light you almost can’t see the pale pink pin stripes that match my nice pink shirt. So what is the skirt is a bit short for a work. And so what if the neck line is really rather low for work. I can see the mounds of my creamy breasts framed by the pink my black bra darkening the shirt in a very sexy manner. Looking at myself like this is making my horny and that’s making me remember what I don’t have on under my outfit and why. I had stayed at my boyfriend’s house the night before and had remembered to pack a clean suit for today but not clean panties so rather than do the same ones twice I was going without today and when my boyfriend noticed that well he just had to fill my cunt with spunk. So I got to ride the subway all the way to work reeking of sex. Work, dam then my mood heads south again remembering how my Boss the fucking CEO of all of GEN-CO wants to see me after his lunch today for a revue and that I should take a long lunch in office today. I was so worried that I had to retype my memo’s three times. I look at the mirror again to make sure my hair is ok then decide to go to the ladies room so I can fix it and my makeup. I stand showing me that my skirt might really be too short for this type of job if it was one inch shorter you would be able to see my thigh highs and the strings on my garter belt. Though between the skirt, the thigh highs, and my four and a half inch heels my legs look amazing. I walk to the ladies room to fix my hair smoothing it back into its bun knowing that it’s the kind of bun that just begs a man to take it down. Taking off my glasses I reapply my little bit of eye shadow just a bit of shiny brown to make my eyes look bigger. Walking here and my thighs rubbing together made me wet so I slip into the stall pulling up my skirt to rub my swollen clit twisting it till I can feel myself about to cum. I cover my mouth so I can muffle my moans as I cum hearing it splash into the water below me. I take a deep breath and stand up, fixing my skirt walking out to wash my hands before going back to the office. I sit back in my chair behind my desk open my computer and in walks my boss from his office.
“Miss LaRue will you please step into my office.” His voice is nice, sounding almost foreign. I want to say he sounds like he’s from Australia but I'm not sure. Wherever he’s from he’s sexy. His eyes are stunning blue and they seem to cut right into you.
“Yes Sir.” I stand up and walk into his office as he closes the door behind me. It clicks closed with a rather sinister snap.
“Now Miss LaRue do you know why I call you in here today?” he asks me as he walks to his desk passing so close to me closes than I think he needs to in a room this big.
“yes Sir. At least I think so Sir.” I’m nerves and frantically trying to think of a way to save my job so I’m stuttering and stalling for time.
“You think so girl? How can you only think so when you have been told, what is it three times now about your typing? Do you want this job or not?” his eyes are getting dark looking at me I’m not sure I know what he means but of course I want to keep my job.
“yes Sir, I love this job I’d do anything to keep it.”
His eyes light up and he stands, his navy suit catching the light from the wall of windows. It bounces of his gold tie bar on his dark blue tie. Wow he really is a good looking man. He starts to pace, looking at me as he walks I can tell he’s thinking. I look at his desk there’s a file folder open on it, I’m trying to read it upside down but it’s hard. I take another step forwards and I can see it has got my name on the top, I thinks it’s my background report. He stops and turns to me looking at me with a strange look in his eyes.
“Anything to keep your job? What if I can offer you a better one? What if I can offer you a job where you get to dress up like this and come sit at a desk in my office all day but you don’t really do anything and you still get paid what you get now?”
“Sir? What do you mean? How could you pay me if I didn’t do anything? And why would my desk be in here?” but I know what he means. I’ve seen how he looks at me, that’s one of the reasons I dress the way I do. After all he’s so good looking. Before he can say anything else I tell him, “yes, yes I’ll do it. But what exactly will I have to do?”
He starts to smile and its almost an evil smile. “ Before I can promote you to your new job I need to punish you for your typing problems.”
“punish me? What is this grade school? Ok what do I do?”
“follow me.”
He walks over to the couch and sits down patting the seat next to him. I walk over and start to sit as well but at the last second he pulls me so I’m face down on his lap my ass in the air. My skirt rides up showing that I have no panties on, showing my whole ass. He sucks in air as he looks at my ass running a hand over it in an appreciatory manor. He traces one finger down the crack line till he gets to my still damp cunt. Pressing one finger into me slowly feeling how wet I am, how tight I am, how hot I am. My cunt clenches around his finger. I feel his hand leave my ass as his other hand starts to press down on my lower back holding me on his lap. I wiggle in his lap trying to figure out what’s going on.
Whap!! His hand comes down on my ass hard sending a shock all the way from my ass to my head then down to my toes. I yelp trying to jump off his lap but the hand on my back hold me all too well. I’m too short pulled onto his lap like this I can’t touch the ground so I can’t force myself off. He is rubbing my ass in slow circles waiting for me to come back into my head. I look over my shoulder at him shock and pain written large on my face.
“why? What? What did you do that for?” is all I can think of my mind is in shock. My ass is red and throbbing but my cunt is so wet it almost hurts. I don’t know what to do. I look at the door, someone must have heard me right? He starts to smile seeing where I’m looking.
“No one can hear you. This office is completely sound proof. As for why you are getting this spanking it’s as I told you, you are going to be punished for your horrid typing skills.”
Getting, that’s what my mind fixes on. Getting not got, that means this isn't over. As if on cue I feel his hand lift again. He brings it down harder on my ass my body jumping, bucking, the pain all I can feel for a time. Then I can feel it that heat that glow that I get right before I cum. I can feel his fingers on my clit rubbing and pinching working me up and up. I’m almost there, almost there and he stops bringing his hand down on my ass again hard so hard. I scream the pain is like nothing I've ever felt but before I've even finished this scream his fingers are back on my clit rubbing, pushing, pinching, and I'm there. I cum hard on his lap my ass burning from his hand tears dripping down my face. I'm spent I almost don't know what is happening to me. I feel my body moved flipped over on the couch so I'm on my back. My tender ass is pressing into the leather of the couch. I feel his hands on my legs right above my knees pressing them down and out opening me. I open my eyes looking up at him looming over me naked. I start to struggle pulling at my arms only to realize that I'm tied to the couch. Knowing I’m helpless makes me so wet, I look down his body eating him with my eyes. He is just as amazing naked as he is in his suits. He’s not all the way hard as he crawls up my body letting his cock rub right on my cleavage. He pulls my jacket open sending the buttons flying. Pulling at my shirt ripping at it the silk parting under his strong hands like paper. My bra is a front snap so that comes off with ease that god, then my DD breasts are free. He takes his cock and starts to rub it all over and across them sometimes teasingly close to my mouth. I've never wanted to suck a cock like I do now before in my life. All I can think about is sucking him, licking him, having him rub that glorious cock all over me. Then its time, he brings it up to my mouth letting me suck the head into my mouth. I swirl my tongue around it before relaxing and starting to suck trying to get as much of it in my mouth as I can. I can feel him getting hard, taste his precum dripping out of the tip. My cunt is wet I can smell it and his wait on my body is pressing my poor ass into the couch but the pain seem to make it hotter. He pulls away moving back between my thighs his hard cock seeming to strain towards my soaked cunt. He places his hands under my ass digging his fingers into my pain as he lifts my hips so my slit is even with his cock. He pushes forward pressing the tip to my opening, god he’s large. I hadn't noticed how big he was till he was already stretching me, his cock shoving its way into me. My head tips back as he fucks me pounding his way into my dripping cunt, every thrust making the marks on my ass hurt. The pain is mixing into the pleasure till I can't tell where one starts the other ends. He moves one hand to the small of my back holding me up with that hand so that the other is free. He then reaches up pinching one of my nipples cruelly, making me scream. Then his hand is gone again.
Whap! It hits my ass as he is deep in me, landing right on the marks from last time. My cunt clenches and I scream again almost passing out cumming on his cock, drenching him and the couch under us. My body cumming is too much and he shoots too sending his load deep into my twitching slit. He pulls out dropping me on the couch. Landing on my ass makes me moan a bit but my cum has me almost passed out. Watching me gives him an idea and just the thought gets him fully hard again. He come back over to me and flip me over on my stomach, then taking some of the same rope he used to tie my arms he lashes my ankles to my upper thighs then ties my legs apart so that my asshole can be clearly seen. Looking at it gives his cock a twitch pulling out a small bottle of lube he squirts some onto my ass rubbing it in with his thumb. Slowly opening my ass as he rubs the lube in he adds just a little more before replacing his thumb with the head of his cock. He pushes in slowly getting about an inch into me before stopping. Then he lifts his hand and with all his strength brings it down on my ass waking me up with a scream. My body bucks driving him deeper into my ass before I realize what’s going on. He starts to fuck me one hand on the back of my neck to hold me down and he pounds my ass. He’s so big it hurts but the pain feels so good. It’s all mixed up in my head now. He’s almost raping my ass driving into me with a speed and force I had only seen in porn. I can feel another cum coming building growing. And it’s there I'm cumming, my body shaking and twitching around you.

Poem 2

its dirty, I know that.
you take me because it's convenient for you
but I've never asked for more.
my birthday, high on the pain of the new piercings
drunk on sweet wine and the smell of your skin
though so far all I've had was a birthday hug
I push, cornering you
draped in nothing but a silk slip
pressing my self up against your chest
looking up at your lips, knowing how soft, how sweet they can be
full and thick as any other lover I've ever had.
your eyes burn drunk on top shelf poison
brown hair falling in careless waves.
Handsome most would say
but I say beautiful, though I know its the wrong word for a man.
I know how soft your lips, how sweet your skin
I know strong your hands.
I am burning in your arms
hating how you make me react
yes.
yes?
yes.
thank you, but please no pity sex
you take my hand and tell me its never pity
we go down
down to my private hell, where I let you do this to me.
it was just supposed to be letting me blow you
and that is joy to me
since just the taste of your skin can make me high
but I know this and i know you
it never ends there
"I gave you what you want now give me what I want"
for you yes, anything even though the pain almost makes me cry
your body doesn't fit there, at least not with out much more prep than I've had
gasping for air till the pain recedes
my hands and knees raw from the friction
but then
there I feel you and the first glow starts
your hands slip around to grasp my breasts
kneading my DDs into my chest
your hand soft and hash all at once
your breath hot at the back of my neck
I whisper bite me, please
your teeth in my shoulder
and the glow turns into a fire
I burn at your touch
but I am dirty
and the things you have me do are dirty
I hate it but I cant stop it
its done
your hot seed on my pale skin
I feel dirty and used
I wash and sleep
willing myself to forget how you feel inside me
hating how dirty it makes me feel
waiting till I can ask for it again.